A piece in a recent WSJ, “My Lifelong Crusade Against the Useless Paper Towel” was eye-catching. Crusade is maybe aspirational, but I’ll grant it at least a soap-box. I felt like the columnist and I were kindred spirits. Corona sales-boost aside, “… paper towels are the most overrated household cleaning item in the history of American tidiness… There is almost nothing a paper towel does that can’t be done equally effectively with a chamois cloth, a strip of cotton, a sponge or an old sock.” That should put the paper towel in its place. (Which in my kitchen in the back corner of the cabinet under the sink which accounts for this roll’s slightly ragged edge.) The columnist concedes that his has been “a lonely crusade, a quixotic tilting against quicker-picker-upper windmills.” …” a giant squandering of money on something totally extraneous.”
Curious about just how much money is being squandered, The Atlantic provided some answers in “Americans Are Weirdly Obsessed With Paper Towels.” Worldwide, $12 billion annually. And half of that is by Americans. These two year old numbers are low, especially given the huge bump in consumption from coronavirus-abatement efforts. America’s relative wealth enables us to spend more freely on nonessentials. Our national obsession with instant gratification engenders an “out quickly, damned spot” mentality. The rag, mop and broom that satisfy the rest of the world get little respect from us. We use so many paper towels because we can afford to. In what seems a step in the wrong direction, the rest of the world is catching up and the pandemic has only quickened the pace.
The Crusader’s closing argument: “ Stick paper towels right in there with handle-less coffee mugs, raspberry-lemon-flavored sparkling water and emerging- nation municipal bonds.”
Caveat emptor, particularly in the Age of Corona.