This isn't really related to a principle or rule. But having no editor to save me from myself, I a can do as I please. It's with pleasure that I give you the best from a superlative grandmother, to celebrate her birthday, May 17th. The older I get, the more I regret that she didn't write a book. She called a spade a spade better than anyone I know and did so with a goodly dose of humor. So, from the collective memory of her six grandchildren, who issued forth from the adorable little girls pictured above....
1. No need to be so damned sorry. (In response to ‘I’m sorry.’)
2. It’s five o’clock somewhere in the world. (Bring out the bourbon!)
3. She’s in her cups. (Tipsy- given that it’s well after 5 and the bourbon has made its appearance.)
4. Fools’ names, like their faces, always seen in public places. (Facebook et al be damned!)
5. I’ve eaten a bumble bee and it’s under my shirt (aka I’ve eaten abundantly and anymore would be an exert.)
6. Pleasingly plump (Meaning you could stand to lose a few.)
7. Pretty is as pretty does. (Behaving was a big deal.)
8. I’m going to drop down for a few. (A post-prandial midday nap)
9. You going to the picture show? (Meaning, stop picking at your seat.)
10. Old age is a miserable state of affairs. (Said without a trace of bitterness.)
11. I’m happy to be seen. (In response to “I’m happy to see you.”)
12. Suck egg mule. (A more genteel way of saying “son of a bitch”)
14. If you see something God didn't make, shake a stick at it! (If you accidentally intrude on someone in a partial or complete state of undress and hurriedly profess embarrassed apologies, the victim of your intrusion might reply in this fashion.)
15. That’s merchandise! (Meaning you medaled in the retail Olympics)
15. Her taste is all in her mouth. (She was tacky.)
16. Stink face (A screwed up face- like what an NPR host does when talking about Tweets.)
You might have noticed that 13. is missing. It's not due to superstition but rather to a flirt with decorum. Granny would be disappointed in me so I'll just tell you that the punch line is "Arrabella Cunningham". You'll have to imagine the rest! Happy Birthday Granny.